Day One:

I have seemingly made it through my first 24 hours without booze or ciggarettes. That to me is truly an accomplishment. Although that first hurdle is over and done with, I’m thinking I’ve got my two toughest days ahead of me, only because I have to go to work. I’m hoping to distract myself with cleach ining and customers, and not with the usual tavern drama, which is probably a lot of the reason I drink so damn much anyway. Not to be blaming my downfalls on my place of business by any means, but I’m sure that people who work in bars have the tendency to have a harder time not indulging themselves.

So, starting today. I will be drinking 60 ounces of water, not smoking, and definitely no drinking. I really and truly can! And really, I’ll be saving nearly $80 in ciggarettes alone, and about $60 in booze money, so maybe I can start working on that sewing machine, bathrobe, and wardrobe staples I’ve been saving up for.

It’s going to be a real journey.

The future belong to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams.
~Eleanor Roosevelt~

 

My Cultural Renaissance

It’s official: I’m addicted to Tai-Chi.

In fact, I’ve decided it’s probably going to be a good start to the whole less stress at work thing. I think if I just learn to focus on tasks that make me happy, evrsus jobs I need to live, I can probably end up channeling my frustration into positive endeavors. If anything, I just hope with the changes that are occurring, the place will be more like work, and less like bad reality t.v.

Yeah right.

On a lighter note, I purchased a seriously intense paint-by-number of the last supper.  The plan is a few minutes a day just painting. I’d really like to see some sort of a creative side re-emerge inside of myself. It’s almost like I’m trying to jump start a personal renaissance.  I’d like to learn how to express myself in multiple ways, and I think that this could be a great way to start.

I’m going to try and figure out how to upload some of my new art photos on a flickr account.

We’ll see how that goes in a minute.

 

Today.

How does a person turn dreams into reality?

So Chris an I have officially had our first “splurge” as a couple and have recently purchased a digital camera. I’m really hoping I can learn how to start posting videos, pictures, songs, and items for sale. I’m thinking that if one man’s trash is another man’s treasure, than I need to tackle the whole market thing. 

I’ve been thinking a lot about resources. We have so many available that are left untapped… Library’s, museums, public seminars… I feel like I should be cramming more knowledge into my head. And I’m definitely sure that I need to start trying new things, so that I can explore possible careers.

I’m a little concerned because I feel like I’m creating a little bit of an obsession for ‘growing up’. I almost tend to stress myself out because I want to achieve so much, but I can’t seem to grasp any sort of self-control when I need it. It’s quite frustrating to me.  I’d really like to start writing things down.

In relationship news, I think Chris and I finally got over one suck-fest of a week. It just seem to keep pouring on… But love prevails, and I’m waiting on him to get home so we can go see Electric Six. I got to see him protect me this weekend. I don’t think anyone’s ever stood up for me the way he did. It was probably one of the scariest, but most comforting feeling in the world. He’s really something…

Also… I always knew the hosts of the Today Show were on something.

 

The Wrath of Grapes

There truly is nothing like waking up with last nights bottle of wine screaming in your ears. Especially when you have to go to the workplace of doom later….

Unless they’re getting rid of one of the crazy a-holes you work with!!! Yaaaaaaaaaaay!

I know I shouldn’t be so damn happy, but I really feel like work will no longer be an abyss of sorrow.

 

Laundry-Day Blues

So I’ve recently developed a serious aversion to clutter. A lot like my mother, piled up laundry has the tendency to  cause mini-meltdowns in that grand ol’ noggin of mine. With that said, today I plan on tackling the entire house today, and also turning the dining room into my little workroom. I’d also like to trim my rosebush, and create some color schemes for the house… Ooooh. I may even buy a printer.

I re-installed Windows today, figuring it’s probably best to start organizing everything from the ground up. It’s nice to feel like you’re rid of a previous life, and I really didn’t feel like looking at pictures of ex-boyfriends. It’s that whole steak at home kinda thing, ya know?

I’m not really sure how I’m going to really delve into but ome new hobbies, but I’m really tempted to learn how to sew bathrobes, and boudoir wear. I think I’d be pretty good at it. I’ve also been thinking about starting an ebay business, as well as possibly writing a book. The problem is, I just have a really difficult time leaving the gate. I really do think that a properly set-up hobby-lobby could potentially help this out.

Can’t wait to see what happens on this weeks episode of Tavern… ugh.

 

Tidal Waves

It’s not very often that I remember my dreams, and last night I had one that involved Chris, my brother Thomas, my mother, and me running from tidal waves. The dream dictionary states that, ” A tidal wave is a very strong symbol and can simply indicate that there is something stronger and more powerful that will just sweep us away without warning. It may symbolise our wish to protect some vulnerable family member. It may link to some larger force such as need to follow the true path of religion. ” I think I’m just overwhelmed with guilt that I haven’t phoned my mother. I’m totally doing that on my way to work.

Welp, it’s here. The official end of the W. It’s about time America trimmed it’s Bush. I’m curious as to who’s going to win, but at the same time, am not looking forward to all of the hoopla that’s probably going to go down later on this evening. I’d like to see Obama win, only for the simple fact that he’s different. He may be a horrible choice down the road, but I feel like Sarah Palin has totally ruined me on John McCain. And I used to root for that woman! Ugh. She’s a hot mess.

On a lighter note, this daylight savings thing is working pretty well, I woke up this morning feeling really refreshed, which is a rarity. I’d like to go in, tackle my work, and get the hell out before those people really piss me off. That place really is the source of all my evil thoughts. I thought copious amounts of ganja would help. Not so much. Those women are truly vile sometimes.

 

Happy Halloween!

Halloween is definitely the best day of the year to get away with wearing clothes that make you look completely off the rocker.

I can’t decide between porcelain doll, greek muse, or Harajuku girl.

My biggest dilemma at the moment is whether or not to just wear the vintage dress, even though I’m going to be in a nasty kitchen all night. I mean, I suppose there’s always dry-cleaning, but I’m worried it will be difficult to work in.

In other news, I’m starting to wonder about this Obama guy. The more I listen to people, the more McCain is starting to sound like a bad choice. And I think the majority of that is Palin. It’s not that she’s the idiot she’s made out to be, but would it be a lot like throwing Britney Spears into Hollywood, sending her to Washington. And if something does happen, what’s going to stop her from turning into the President most likely to act like my mother…

*Shudders with fear*

At this point, I know that voting is important. But what makes my vote count, Especially in the South?  Working in a bar, you learn not to talk about 2 things: Politics and Religion. And as close as the two seemingly are, isn’t that a lot to be asking?

And what’s wrong with being undecided about the Election. I know I’ve got less than a week left, but damn, I’ll have about 2 hours in line at the polls to come up with something.

 

Just another Wednesday

Married Lovers by Jackie Collins… sadly, this was the first time I was a little dissapointed. The thing that really kept me going throughout the whole thing, was the story of Anya. A child from Russia, sold into sex slavery, abused for many years and ends up dying from a gunshot wound in a Hollywood Mansion.

Holy Carp, that’s good stuff.

I learned that the neighbors dog is a potential threat to our safety…Don’t really know how I feel about that.

I think it’s about time for me to get out of the bar wench thing. Those crazies are starting to get to me. It’s like I’ve gotten myself so far involved with these people, the less like a tavern and the more like deadly quicksand it’s becoming. The problem is, I wish I could really start to venture off and do my own thing. But with lack of funds, and debt that needs to be taken care of, I feel like I need to get the ball rolling on some better money and a tighter budget for a little while. And heck, maybe something that wouldn’t make me feel like stabbing people would be a nice change.

I’m hoping we can get a digital camera today and I can start plotting some business ideas. I love having the day off.

 

Travel Writing

I’ve been thinking alot about the places I go.

I go to some pretty cool spots, and yet, I hardly remember half of what I do. This will be easier with the purchase of a digital camera, but I do think I’m going to try and start my travel blog.

I’d also like to find out if there’s anyway I can start making money online, or with other ventures, because this broke thing is really starting to bug me. I know about 75% of it is my spending, and once I curb that I should be okay… However I think that my occasional drinking is inhibiting me from saving a sufficient amount of money.

Got a few books at the library, today. A couple about selling on ebay, which I’d like to get into, a book about travel writing, and some how-to’s for the house. I’d like to get some structure on my homelife. Making time to learn, to write, to sing, to get out, to be alone… not spend countless hours rotting my mind away with reality T.V.

Which brings me to my next subject, I’m really interested in how my pot habit could or could not be stunting my mental growth. Is it a means to stay calm, or is it making me lazy and numb to real life?

 

:)

I’d really like to spend a day with Britney Spears. She just seems like an adventure of a person…

So I bought this kick ass vintage dress. It’s gorgeous, but I can’t decide if it’s too much, or where I’d where it, or even if I give a shit if it’s tacky as all hell, but I really want to wear it. My question is,

When does personal style go to far?

There are countless websites, channels, magazines, etc. telling you how to dress, but why can’t people just wear what makes them feel good? Why do we think a person’s favorite scarf is a fashion “Don’t”? I think it’s more important to understand the image you portray, not the style you’re trying to plagerize.

With that said. What’s up with the new Rock of Love? Those chicks look like the porn industry threw up on them. I just really, really hope that these women aren’t role models for anyone. I really am a fan of them bringing in Sharon Osbourne. Shit, I’d love to have Sharon Osbourne as a mentor. To me, she is the poster child for the Jackie Onassis of Rock.

Things at home are wonderful. Although the heat isn’t working, the worlds sexiest man is in the bed always willing to warm me up.